I think in politics that relationship is even more important, but so incredibly overlooked that I don’t hesitate to call myself ‘naive’ when it comes to applying this particular philosophy to our current state of politics. I look at this AIG mess, and I’m livid. Mind you, I don’t know a whole lot more than what the headlines on CNN and USA Today say, and I’m well aware that those are pretty condensed for mass/easy consumption, but in this case, the jist of it it pretty clear: A poorly run company borrowed a whole lot of money from the government (us) with the idea that they’ll turn things around, ONLY to find out a portion of that borrowed money went into bonuses that were ‘part of a contract.’ At the point that you have to borrow a few hundred billion dollars from the government, wouldn’t you think contracts on things like bonuses are kind of, well, null? And even if you choose to glance over the fact that the money is borrowed from the government, isn’t a few hundred million in bonuses a little excessive? I also wonder about the recipients of these bonuses, and the ones that actually had the gall to accept them. What, exactly, were they telling themselves to justify taking the money? This is no less different to me than lending a friend $500 for an emergency, only for them to come up to you the next day and talk about the Wii they just bought.

I wish the government had approached this financial mess the same way a parent approaches a problem child. Firm, consistent, not giving in even a little, with the attitude of, ‘I love you, but this is still gonna hurt.’ Watching the government pour money into failing institutions, only to watch them keep failing, while making some of the most questionable decisions I’ve ever seen, is appalling. What’s worse is, we’ll be paying for it, and our children will be paying for it, for a long time.

I want to know when the government stopped asking questions. I want to know when the men running AIG stopped questioning their own decisions and values. I want to know who stopped pushing to question the activities of these companies? I don’t adhere to either political party, and I’m sure that Republicans can come up with an argument against Democrats, and vice versa, and to be honest I don’t care. Who stopped asking the hard questions? Why?

I used to visit a therapist regularly, and I learned a whole lot from him, not the least of which is perspective. In a conversation with him about perspective, he talked to me about questioning, and about believing oneself to be infalliable. He quoted a book by George Soros, and yes, I know Mr. Soros is an incredibly volatile subject. I don’t know much about him, but I do know he brings up an incredibly important point about what happens to someone when they stop questioning themselves, their decisions, their motives, all of it. I can tell you what happens. What happens is the company your running borrows a hell of a lot of money and then turns around and uses it to pay bonuses rather than keep your company afloat. How many jobs could those bonuses have brought back? How far could that money have gone to pay medical insurance for the people who have been laid off from AIG? Why are people who contributed to the melt down of a major corporation being rewarded?

I’m done ranting, I’m a little out of breath, to be honest. My whole point in all of this is that our values are in the wrong place. It starts way up high, and trickles down pretty darn low, and it affects all of us.

First, the good stuff:

-My MOST favorite feature on here is the ability to log how much everything is. It is such a huge help in budgeting, and gives me a pretty close estimate as to what my grocery bill will be.

-You can build lists that you store and can refer back to. I have a ‘Weekly List’ for things I buy on a weekly basis, an ‘Every two weeks’ list for groceries I only need to get twice a month or so, and then a ‘Monthly Groceries’ list for things I buy once a month.

-Within each list, you have a dial where you can select a quantity for each item. When you’re on the main screen of the app, it will tell you how many items you have ‘scheduled’ to buy for each list. When your in the main screen on your iPhone with all of your icons displayed, a number appears in the corner – similar to the email icon – giving you your grand total of items you have left to buy. This rocks because I always have items that Walmart seems to be out of, and I used to completely forget about them after my shopping trip. Now, I don’t.

-I can check off each item as I put it in my cart, then it moves it to the bottom of the list, and I can go on to the next item.

-You can tag each item with a picture and notes. I love visual add-ons like this, it makes me have to think less, and I’ll admit, there are times when thinking less is kinda nice. You can also size & rotate the picture really easily – I don’t use that feature much, but every once in a while it comes in really handy.

Not so hot:

-In the first screen, I wish it would give me a grand total of all my lists put together. I have to add them together to get a grand total on my own, which is no big deal, except that I hate math, and that includes adding.

-I also wish it were a little easier to enter the quantities of your items. The way the app works now is a bit cumbersome.

Overall, this is an app purchase a certainly don’t regret. I selected it for my budgetary means, though, not culinary. If you’re looking for an app that can build a grocery list based on a recipe, this one isn’t it. But for what I need it to do, it’s fantastic.

The bad part is not the buying part, the bad part is buying when you really haven’t earned the right to. Derek and I are in so much debt, and I’m walking through Off 5th (Saks’ Fifth Ave.’s rack store) and all I can think is, if we hadn’t gotten ourselves in this mess, then I could do what I want, but we did, so I have no business here. 5 years from now, things will be different. Right now, keep walking…..

Because of how I grew up, my relationship with material things has been one of turmoil. I don’t want to WANT those adorable pair of Fendi boots on sale for ONLY $500…. but…but…. but.. Seriously, I’ve never owned a Fendi anything, but you get my drift.

I started reading a book on mindfulness a while back, and in one chapter there was an example of a woman who put herself on a spending/needing things diet. She stopped spending money, beyond absolute, totally bare essentials, for a year. And when she got done with that year, she kept going, because it made her feel so much better to stop wanting and needing things.

I bring that example back home, paying attention to myself and the things I do and spend money on through the week, and it makes me question so much. The author’s eventual point was about generosity, and how you can be generous to yourself by not needing so much, taking a break from thinking that your life would be impossible without all these random, little things that we put our money and energy into. In taking that break, you start to figure out where those definitions of want and need start.

I’ve been pretty down lately, depression is something I’ve struggled with for a long time, I’ve got a family history for it, and at different times I deal with it in different ways. I’m at Target tonight, and I just WANT something so badly, something bright and fun and colorful and so I find this adorable Kelly Green purse on clearance for $11.88. And I WANT it. Really bad. It’s cheap. It’s only $11 bucks, I mean, hell, what’s $11 bucks anyway? And I’m talking myself into buying this purse that is really adorable and will totally take my mind off of the fact that things are tough right now, and if we weren’t on a budget, I would’ve bought it. But I put it back. I am so extremely proud of myself for putting it back. In doing that, not only did I recognize that my money – which I work really hard for – is valuable and not worth spending on petty things, but it was also recognition that a bright, shiny new thing, won’t fix me. It might distract me, and I’ve gotten really good at distracting myself, let me tell you…. But it won’t fix me.

You broaden that dilemma, and it becomes a question of what your family needs to live, survive, to thrive with, and what luxuries you’ve gotten so accustomed to that you feel like you can’t live without them. How much money are you putting into things that are so completely unnecessary, that only serve to distract you from your busy, overwhelming, and not-always-perfect life? How much debt do you have? What’s the ratio of the two?

Boil it down further to the question of value – something that Dave Ramsey addresses – and how what you value and what you spend your money on speak to your character. When Derek and I were taking Financial Peace University, that particular lesson hit me HARD. Mostly because I’ve been working in some way or another since I was about 17 and I have absolutely nothing to show for it beyond a good amount of debt. Where exactly does that put me in the character department?

I didn’t take a picture of the CD, I made a very cheap little label using the free Avery Design Pro software that you can download for the labels and it’s not great, I may post it later, who knows. Enjoy!

Generally, when I make things for people – be it a scrapbook, invites, etc. I approach the money part with a shrug, I spend willy-nilly as long as I can put into physical being what I imagine in my head for that person. So, while I have a certain amount of personal money each week, I want to be able to get what I can while not using up all the money I’ve got. That means doing things like paying attention to how and what I spend my money on, hunting down coupons, shopping only when sales exist, and not getting too fancy with my creation (that’s the hardest one of all….).

I have to say I’m doing better than I thought. The paper flowers I posted earlier will probably be used as decorations – I can get a dozen for $10 and they’ll contribute a whimsical, fun feeling toward the event. We’ll probably use somewhere around 3 or 4 packages. I’m making the invites, and where I don’t have to pay someone else labor for making them for me, the materials are still costing me a good bit. The idea came from the Martha Stewart website, although the actual construction is nothing like their idea. I’m making cd invites, and inside the envelope each guest will get a cd and an insert with the invite information and the playlist on the cd. I am only looking at my immediate cost, not my total, as we have a huge stack of cd’s at home, so I’m not having to buy those. I also have quite a bit already, although mostly what I already have is in the way of tools and not actual construction materials like paper and ribbon. As soon as I’m completely done, I’ll post pictures and (possibly) what the cost to make them was. Below is a photo of the papers/color palette I’m using.

Valentine's gifts from my hubby

Some Valentine’s Day gifts from my hubby. I love getting gifts from him because he puts quite a bit of thought into what he picks out, and each thing has it’s own significance. I’m a lucky woman!

Of course, I also dreamed last night that Derek and I had miscalculated our debt, and that we actually owe $164,315.65. I’m not sure where the number came from but I remember it VIVIDLY. I had to remind myself when I woke up that it was only a dream….